I have an on and off relationship with alcohol. Sometimes I’ve drank daily and to extremes. It fills me with panic to think I should never have a drink ever again so I’m not going to go that. Slow and steady wins the race. I allow myself a few drinks the days I’m off work so around two days a week. I will not get drunk, I will enjoy them and not get wasted and make a fool out of myself like I have in the past.
A few times in my life I’ve considered myself am alcoholic. I’ve attended AA meetings before and vowed to never take another sip ever again. Like everything in my head, this changed. I’m not an alcoholic I’ve decided, I just used to use drink as a medicine for the ache in my brain. Now I have vowed to only drink as a way to relax on my days off and so far am managing this. I’ll also have a drink socially. I’ve tried to be sober on a night out and it really isn’t as fun. It’s dull. You see the mess that other people are in and it starts my anxiety and I just want to leave.
My vow to myself is to never be drunk again. But I will allow myself that drink, that “aah” feeling when you have it. I need to.
My weird little life 