We had it with sweet potato fries and green beans. I really enjoyed it. It tastes like beef but weird haha

I’ve always known I was trans. From being around five, I’d guess. I always wanted to be a boy, I always wanted boys toys. I resented being a girl. I hated it with a passion. I was always jealous of the boys at school, I wanted to be like them, be friends with them but it just never happened.

When I was around 12/13 I came out to my mother. She fully supported me, she even offered to take me to the GP if I wanted to, to get some help or start hormones. I refused, I suppressed it again and again until at 26 I couldnt suppress it anymore.

I came out in a Facebook post to my work colleagues and friends. I came out privately to my family either in person or by phone call. My dad took it the worst. I was sure he thought id lost the plot. But I hadn’t, I’d just rewritten my plot.

My husband is my greatest source of support. Always there for me and he said he would stand by me no matter what. The only thing in question is the “bedroom” matters. I’m sure we will make it work.

I started T 28th June 2022 and there is no going back now.

I have an on and off relationship with alcohol. Sometimes I’ve drank daily and to extremes. It fills me with panic to think I should never have a drink ever again so I’m not going to go that. Slow and steady wins the race. I allow myself a few drinks the days I’m off work so around two days a week. I will not get drunk, I will enjoy them and not get wasted and make a fool out of myself like I have in the past.

A few times in my life I’ve considered myself am alcoholic. I’ve attended AA meetings before and vowed to never take another sip ever again. Like everything in my head, this changed. I’m not an alcoholic I’ve decided, I just used to use drink as a medicine for the ache in my brain. Now I have vowed to only drink as a way to relax on my days off and so far am managing this. I’ll also have a drink socially. I’ve tried to be sober on a night out and it really isn’t as fun. It’s dull. You see the mess that other people are in and it starts my anxiety and I just want to leave.

My vow to myself is to never be drunk again. But I will allow myself that drink, that “aah” feeling when you have it. I need to.

I had a lovely day today spent with my daughter, grandmother and auntie. We had lunch then had a walk in the park having a good chat about things.

It seems my father is becoming more comfortable with me being trans which is really good.

We’re having venison for the first time for tea so will post later to see how it was.

Im a 26 year old trans man. I’m a father to two, a boy and a girl. I love animals, nature, writing and reading. Painting is something I’d like to spend more time on.

I created this blog as therapy for myself to write about my day and explore my thoughts.

The main traumas my posts will be focusing on are narcissistic parent, death of a parent and childhood sexual abuse.